lunar eclipse

I put on my black sweater and grabbed a cigarette. Put on my slippers and went out onto the back patio. Held the unlit cigarette in my hand while I tried to see the lunar eclipse...but it was just above the roof and straining to look at. So I stared off...as I always do. As if searching to find you. Wondering what you're doing right at that moment. I feel sad and happy all at once. Sad because I miss you, happy because I Love you.
I finally light the cigarette, only to wander off with you in thought and let the thing just burn away. But I pay no mind to that really...I'm still smiling to the memory that just floated through me like an agile butterfly in a snow storm. I hope you know how I meant that. I miss you so much it hurts, but I love you so much, it hurts less.
Finally the cigarette is through and I'm still standing there....with my eyes closed, still off running around with you and then I look back up at the moon, straining my neck to see how much shadow it's gained...wondering if you're able to see it at all.