I used to sit and watch her suffer in her own misery. Listen to her curse the God's and demand to know why life was so hard for her. Always blaming Them for her misery. Watching her try to drink her sorrows away as if the whiskey held the secret or the reason for them. I always wondered why she allowed herself to feel that way. Why she continued to walk down this path of nothingness. As I sit here today, feeling such sorrows...although whiskey is not my drowning pool of choice, the sadness is quite enough. I hear the voice within me say that I don't have to feel this way. But the emotions tell a different story. The loneliness and frustration consumes me sometimes and I find myself withdrawn. Funny...loneliness makes me want to be alone. I constantly search for the silver lining...the breath of life that will keep me going and sometimes it reveals itself in a smile...but the tears find they're way down my face nonetheless.
I don't want to feel this way. But as she used to say...is this just destined to be?
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